Will you be my girlfriend? Breathe for yes. Lick your elbow for no.

Possible outcomes for touching MC Hammer:

1) WWIII

2) Obama pulls a Michael Jackson and becomes white.

3) The producers of Lost reveal a secret episode years later that only adds more questions.

4) Chuck Testa retires

5) This photo

 

6) Michelle Obama actually admits to stealing her arms off a man and having them surgically attached.

7) Herman Cain is that man.

8)  Rihanna "Chris Browns" Chris Brown.

9) One simply walks into Mordor

10) Chad invades my computer and screws up my posslktal;;sldfak;sudh;liawef;ljahs;dlifj;asdihk;aut;a;oisdfliahso;ihl;dsfa;uhfiauesiuhf