Thursday, January 12, 2012

Why I hate toasters but love poptarts.

I've kept this a secret for years but I have never put my poptart in the toaster, but for on a very few occasions. Is this healthy? Probably. Is it still delicious. Yes!

You see, the toaster isn't necessarily bad in itself, but it just takes so much freaking time to cook the pastry! And why go through the toaster when I can go straight to the pastry!?!? But the toaster still has it's uses. Like making toast or the frozen waffles! Mhmm. Boy, do I love me some waffles.

And can we agree on one thing? Cherry poptarts, even if they aren't your FAVORITE poptarts, are definitely the universal poptart. If you don't know what kind of poptarts your roommate gets but it's your day to buy groceries, get the cherry. Even if you're wrong, the chances are they still can appreciate the cherry ones, too.

If you clicked on my link thinking I'm going to discuss the "Why I Hate Religion but Love Jesus" video, you're wrong. I'm talking about poptarts and toasters. Seriously. Old Tyler would have made a post trying to be clever and use toasters and poptarts as some sort of obscure analogy to discuss the rediculousness of the video. But new Tyler will discuss toasters and poptarts because he likes them, and then straight up tell you the new video on Religion and Jesus is dumb. Most of my Christian friends are too polite and Christian to say it, but it is. I hear a lot of people sugar coat it with statements like, "He makes some valid points but I don't agree with everything he says", and "I can definitely see how he could come to that conclusion, but he is missing some major points." No. Just...no.

"What if I told you Christ came to abolish religion?" I'd say you were wrong! What if I told you Christ said the smores poptarts were the best? I'd be lying too!

I'm frustrated and not making sense. It's time to play piano and eat poptarts. Good day, all.

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